< Forum post as thinly veiled long-form troll >

Really, I just wanted to post a set of selective information and opinion in order to reaffirm my purchase. I have many arguments why my device and/or OS is better then yours and feel that by making myself the center of attention and having the ability to set the tone for the discussion I will make sure that my will is passed onto the collective readership.

I really don't have much respect for anyone who disagrees with my purchase decision and subsequent allegiance. To agree with any argument else-wise would be too great a hit to my ego to contemplate. Subsequently I will trott out old, tired and long-disprooved rhetoric to support my stance. I will almost certainly adhere to the safe ground of the known strengths of the company controlling the destiny of my device/OS when making any argument and ignore simple considerations like whether a competing device/OS is actually any good when making comparisons.

To be brutally honest, I am simply terrified by the threat that is represented by your device/OS. It is a completely irrational and realistically inconsequential fear. I will argue tirelessly with any and all literary techniques regardless. I will even pretend to be humble and support that which I actually oppose in an attempt to subvert opinion with an outlandish "that's a deal breaker" comment about the one thing I feel is weak about the competing device/OS in question.

I really wanted to like this post, but the truth (read: my opinion backed by selective information) is that it actually has a long way to go/needs a drastic overall/is too fragmented for me to concider seriously.