"Did you hear the what Bernice was told? Her brother's girlfriend's cousin's boyfriend's father knows someone at the coffee shop by his work whose mother's best friend's nephew's schoolmate has exclusive, percent-100 accurate proof that the Apple hologram machine is real and has been in double-secret alpha testing with select members of the public thrice-removed from Apple staff for the last 11-to-34 months or so, give or take. It'll definitely launch December 11th for $379.99 with the ad campaign 'seeing is unbelieving.' At least that's what Apple told my brother's girlfriend's cousin's... "

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