Surface: Microsoft Enters The Realm Of Tech Superheroes


Reading the latest "The Best Tech Writing Of The Week October 21" and seeing the "Why Microsoft Is Acting So Freaked Right Now, Why Microsoft's Tablets Can't Fail", I wanted to imagine an ascendent Microsoft joining Apple and Google at the top of the tech industry. While its true that this past decade has been tough for Redmond - "The Lost Decade" - things are looking up for Steve Ballmer. Windows Phone 8 is about to launch, and company cofounder Bill Gates dream of a Microsoft Tablet PC is about to come true through Surface.

Heres how I imagine current Microsoft CEO joining Apple and Google in the realm of Tech Superheroes :-)

Apple has invented brilliant devices and executed on their vision superbly. Ably led by one of the greatest businessmen of our time, cofounder Steve Jobs, the company has skyrocketed to unimaginable peaks - and then somehow found a way to continue yet higher.

Vision and "Magic" made real through being a real jerk to work with: high standards matched only by the companies high success. >$100 billion USD in the bank, the most valuable publicly traded company in the entire world, the darling of the media spotlight for at least a decade, the first mover in portable music, desktops, laptops, smartphones, tablets......its "magic" alright, lead by stage virtuoso Steve Jobs.

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In the blue corner stands Google - the worlds search engine. Everyone barring Paul Miller uses the internet, and we're all using Google services. Android has become the default Non iPhone monopoly that Microsoft's Windows operating system dominated in Legacy PC's. The company promises further advances in how we live our lives through incredibly ambitious breakthroughs, from self driving cars that map the entire developed world, to heads up displays.

Right as Microsofts eagerly anticipated new release of their main product Windows is about to roll out, and with it the first real Microsoft tablet, Google have gone ahead and announced a new event of their own. Apparently, the rumours are that a full sized tablet is about to launch with a new version of Android, and boasting a screen resolution even greater than the iPad's!

Google Cofounder Sergey Brin is bringing us to a world of cyborgs, our own organic (light emitting diode!) bodies enhanced by symbiotic online services, brought to you by Google.

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Sergey Tannen has hooked on his Android powered army, and as he unleashes the new Nexus 10 inch tablet from its protective casing with sound effects of snarling rottweilers, "Its Ballmer Up!"

How will Microsoft compete against the dual forces of Magic and relentless cybernetic evolution?

Pay attention to the Microsoft Surface promotional videos released so far, they focus not on the powers of charismatic "Reality Distortion Field" manipulation or the ability to hypersonically slice through lamposts............but MAGNETISM!

Microsoft Cofounder Steve Ballmer is.....Magneto!

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With the ability to manipulate "VapourMg" magnesium through magnetic charging, he's all powered up and ready for the epic battle ahead!

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What do you think? Have you got any better "photoshops" of Ballmer and Surface taking on the world? :-)

If you've enjoyed this forum post, please see my take on Microsoft in the Dragon Ball Z world "Microsoft Senzu Bean - The Renewed Goku"