The most ridiculous article on iPhone 5

Check out this article by Dan Lyons:

I don't really know who he is or whether his profession had anything to do with this article, and I also don't know whether he is joking or serious, but this article is a whole load of bullshit.

Before you think I'm an ignorant Apple lover, let me state that I do have mixed feelings about Apple's new product launches and I don't love Apple products blindly.

Anyways, there are too many fallacies in this article, and generally the arguments are direct cause-and-effect occurrences which are not backed by evidence. While you can't deny some of the things he says, his arguments are still so poorly-crafted and is pretty ridiculous. What do you think?