The Verge Crew as Rappers


"The Verge Crew" has an OG hiphop swag to it: what if The Verge staff had rap alter egos? "Z Powa", "Da Bohn Zone", out " regulatin' " the LTE airwaves? Paul's heart lies with "Christian Ska", but imagine the other writers as rap superstars!

You'd have Joshua Topolsky, growing up on the mean streets of Pittsburg,

8034571856_faf03a217e_o_medium

riding the bus to his auto mill employer, stamping fuel efficient parts for all electric Fords, and making out with Brittany Murphy.

A few rap battles (and tattoos) later, his street cred would improve until he humiliated Papa Doc,

8034571944_1825f2e374_o_medium

and ended up ghost producing for Dre.

8034572685_d9941b07ab_o_medium

"Yo, I know you're the Doc and all, but you dont know what I know 'bout headphone design, man. Tha Streets want more bass dawg! Punch up the low end, have Monster charge ten ecks cost and you'll be Walt Mossberg RICH!"

Eventually, he'd settle into a Nas/Jay Z-like depiction of a mafia don, running the game as editor in chief.

But....what would be his subject matter? Well, thats easy!

Tumblr_m23hq5smyu1rtn0ofo1_400_medium

With all the choices available in the mobile industry, we need someone who'll tell us like it is, helping us make our decision.

8034571638_ff9759b154_z_medium

"This is your last chance. After this, there is no turning back. You take the blue pill - the story ends, you wake up in your bed and believe whatever you want to believe. You take the red pill - you stay in Wonderland and I show you how great stock Android is. "

8034571604_ba05fb907e_o_medium

"…..two year contract with'a carrier duopoly-machine,
real players peep the scene through Neuromancer static vis-sheen,
5's a'ight but OS 6's a busta, I'm pickin' 4.1 - dat red Jellybean…."

8034572597_435ccb15f3_o_medium

8034572337_fabc61d950_z_medium

What would other Verge writers look like in another life? Anyone feel like photoshopping a Christian Ska Paul? :-)

8034686662_80ac702466_o_medium