Mrs. Webb: Comment-Land? There's no such place.
Willy Wonka: Excuse me, dear lady, but...
Mrs. Webb: Mr. Wonka, I am a teacher of geography!
Willy Wonka: Oh, well, then you know all about it and what a terrible country it is. Nothing but desolate wastes and fierce beasts. And the poor little Internet Commenters were so small and helpless, they would get gobbled up right and left. A First!-doodle would eat ten of them for breakfast and think nothing of it. And so, I said, "Come and live with me in peace and safety, away from all the First!-doodles, and Troll-swogglers, and Pun-wangers, and rotten, Vermicious Knids."
Stories of the day:
- Office 2013 available now: Microsoft ditches DVDs in push for cloud subscriptions
- 500px photography app returns to App Store with 17+ rating after 'pornography' removal
- Brad Bird and Damon Lindelof's retro-future collaboration renamed 'Tomorrowland'