How can The Verge possibly justify this review score?

Hello everyone,

Long time Verge reader, first time commenter.

I want to call out TOM WARREN for this completely ridiculous review:


I think every reviewer for this website is trying to push a muffin agenda, and it's very clear that they have an anti-toast bias. In fact, toast is a revolutionary marmalade delivery device, and it's a shame that The Verge cannot think outside of its own narrow breakfast ecosystem.

During the last Vergecast, Nilay and Josh spent a whopping FOUR HOURS covering muffins, and only FOUR seconds covering toast. What if you said YES to toast?

With almost all major journalists against it, toast still wins and by a massive margarine. The impact of toast will be biblical. These are simple facts.


1) Toast has the most streamlined design of all breakfast foods. It is the only breakfast food specifically designed to fit in a toaster. The convenience is unparalleled, and undeniable.

2) Toast is a masterpiece of molecular gastronomy. It manages to have a soft core for fun while still retaining the crisp, hard surface that professionals need. It can stand up to the most serious peanut butters and jams without flinching. Can you say the same about muffins? I don't think so.

3) Toast has the BEST breakfast ecosystem, hands down. A full compliment of butters, jams, jellies, marmalades, cheeses, vegetables, and spreads are already available for toast. The ecosystem alone should score 13/10.

4) Toast is an OPEN platform, unlike muffins. Just look at all those holes in it. It even has more nooks and crannies than english muffins.

I expect a written response signed by the CEO of Vox Media and the President of the United States no later than 5PM today. Thank you for reading.