Dear Microsoft, I Need This Tablet From You

Dear Microsoft,

We need to talk. This is serious and our relationship will not progress unless this happens...

...I want a 7 inch RT tablet.

You guys and gals see the sales. The Kindle Fire and iPad Mini are the hotcakes on the market right now. People like smaller tablets to fit in a purse or hoodie pocket or something. Everyone I know thinks thats the move. I even have one myself... no of course it isn't the Intel Studybook, you silly goose. It's a Nexus 7.

Look, I know this is upsetting for you to see. However, you can make it up to me. I'm willing to forgive you of your prior mistakes if you just grant me my one wish. It's better for the both of us, Mike. Can I call you Mike? It's better for the both of us, Mike. You don't want to be left out of the small party the globe is in. You don't wanna be... Eric Schmidt.

Oh, don’t get me wrong. There are plenty of OEMs who make Windows devices. I'm sure they'll suffice for people who don't know the benefits of hitting someone in the head with well made hardware after suggesting that "good enough" quality is fine for an everyday device. But see, you guys are special to me. I want it to be (cue background music) you and only you. I’ve been thinking about this. Every other manufacturer besides Lenovo is pretty much garbaj, and even they are quite an attention-seeker, always having their nipples all exposed in the middle of me trying to write a resume. But Microsoft, you get it right. You understand me, and can make stuff look nice too, like the Zune HD. Those other hardware mistakes are not your fault. I’m sure the Red Ring of Dea.... oh wait, I shouldn’t bring that up? Ok, nevermind. The point is, you guys seem to have a knack for hardware design and quality. Sure, the Surface’s hardware is pretty polarizing, but the lap issue is not a problem for me. I hate using anything on my lap whatsoever! Whether a laptop, a pen and notebook... or a woman... their all too big and far away from my perfect 20/49600 eyesight.

Yeah yeah yeah, Windows Blue will be announced soon which will have better support for 7 inch tablets and will be available to the public soon. Not to mention that Xbox Surface. I get it, I understand. However, you see... I didn’t ask for you to make a 7 inch RT tablet that will be available to the public soon. I asked for a 7 inch RT tablet for me. I could give a crap about the rest of those guys. They probably think I’m entitled. Just so they all know, I am an extremely humble person, but I know what I’m talking about. The others don’t. In fact, here is a list with a plethora of reasons why I think I am more able than anyone else to make a suggestion about what should be done with Windows RT.

  1. I like Windows RT

Now that we have gotten that exhaustingly long list out of the way, here is a list of things I want in your 7 inch tablet.

Mini-USB (in addition to your proprietary power connector of choice).

We know you certainly love your proprietary power sources. Hey, if it make the device charge faster, that’s all fine with me. I just want some extra connectivity on top of that if you don’t mind. Sure, get a full USB in there... if you can fit one. I’d prefer you just got with the smaller option to make the device thinner.


Okay, okay. Yes, 16:9 is your flavor, and I get that. I really do. It’s all awesome for video watching and stuff, and the nexus 7 is basically a 16:9 tablet anyway with those onscreen buttons. But don’t you see? That’s where you guys have the upper edge. You designed an operating system with no need for consistent buttons everywhere. If Google tried doing that, all the apps that run would basically crash on them with usability issues. So you can argue that your screen is even bigger even though it’s exactly the same! Aw man, you guys can think of plenty reasons. I’m not your marketing team (although I’m up for hire. I studied that in college!). As for screen resolution? 1280 x 800? All good. 1920 x 1200? Even better. I’ll take either. Shoot, I’ll take both! 3200 x 2000 for the win... dows RT tablet that I desire!

Charging Dock With Ports

A lot of people love Surface RT for one good reason; productivity. No, I don’t necessarily mean "It’s got Microsoft Office Now!" I mean more along the lines of "It’s got Microsoft Word running... and a video chat... while on internet explorer... using 2 different monitors and a mouse and keyboard plugged in." The iPad couldn’t keep up with that from an observational standpoint.

It certainly helps for a person like myself, a computer programmer (I’m up for hire. I studied that in college!), who can’t just sit there in front of a 9.7 inch screen and expect to make a website. My perfect 20/234e6 eyesight won’t be satisfied. I need a big kahuna-thing in front of me. Ooh, even better, can you imagine programming with the Oculus Rift? That’d be fantastic. I could immerse myself in all that code (doesn't this sound like someone you want to hire? Please!?). All I would need in a dock to plug in my tablet that has an HDMI port and a couple USB ports. Boom! Mutlipurpose! I was initially going to ask for a mini-HDMI port in the tablet itself, but I can compromise! I’m looking out for you here! Let's make this fantastic!

32 GB Drive... With, you know... more than a floppy-disk equivalent for space

Let’s be real here. I haven’t done any pandering in this letter so far, and I’m certainly not going to start now. You guys have a hard time counting GBs. I understand, it’s a common problem, in the sense that you do this all the time. It may be difficult for you to overcome this, but you need to. You're alienating all the people that trust you, which in this case actually does matter here because I'm on of those people. Give me what is advertised. Cool, Mike?

A Built In Jetpack

I want to know what about this surprises you?

Price? Make it $299

I think it's fair to say that consumers nowadays will pay premium price for premium product. Above all, I want my tablet to feel premium (in before someone makes a Nexus 7 hardware build quality joke). Plus, after the success of the iPad Mini and Kindle Fire, $299 seems perfectly acceptable to me. Shoot, make it less if you want. Actually, let's just cut the middle man and you just give it to me directly and free of charge (since you know, I don't have a job... ehem)

You know what Mike? I like you. I think you can do good with what I've given you. In fact, I won't limit you any more than this stuff here. Want to make pretty much eliminate all bezel area? Cool. Make it purple? Hey, it'll stand out and remind Apple fans of how cool the iMac used to be with all it's wacky color options... or how cool the Surface is now... or any Lumia phone... you get my point, right? Be the Mike that we all know when it comes to design and it'll be magical.

Plus, If you do this small thing for me, I promise never to complain about the Xbox music app again.


A Consumer