As Nobel-prize chasers search for a cure to HIV, and Bill Gates squanders his fortune on new and innovative vaccination methods, one topic has remained unexplored: why do gamers insist on drawing dicks in videogames? Kotaku's Stephen Totilo tackles this question head-on in a newly-published investigative report titled Why Do People Love To Draw Dicks in Games? Totilo argues that dick-drawing has long been engrained deep within our culture, providing the pre-18th century Cerne Abbas Giant and an ancient petroglyph as evidence. The writer sought help from the scientific community to back his theory, and was told that, just as animals may use an erect penis to assert dominance over others, human males (in particular adolescents) draw them as a declaration of status. The topic was the subject of some disagreement, but psychologist Nando Pelusi gave perhaps the most reasonable answer, stating:

"Usually, penises get covered or sheathed, otherwise males tend to feel very self-conscious; I think that shame evolved as adaptation to social forces that had real consequences for most of human history where punishment and group cohesion could mean life or death, especially for males establishing their status, so graffiti is usually done secretly and anonymously. Few people are indifferent to an erect penis, because it is either a challenge, or come-on, or declaration of status. Males do most graffiti, and pubertal males are most interested in their newfound obsessions; anything relating to status, making your mark — sometimes literally."

We highly recommend heading over to Kotaku for the full and graphic report.