I'm talking but the words are not my own. My mouth is moving, but what's being expressed is not my initial expression. It's a vocalized form of human communication but the soliloquy is penned by another. This must be what muppets feel like. Sort of.

Stories of the day:

• EU fines Microsoft over $730 million for failing to include browser ballot in Windows 7 SP1
• Carrie Fisher to return as Princess Leia in 'Star Wars: Episode VII'
• Beats raises $60 million for new music streaming service launching this year
• Apple reportedly held talks with Beats over streaming music service
• Top Shelf returns! Join us tomorrow at 8AM PT / 11AM ET / 4PM GMT

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Today's 90 Seconds on The Verge was written by Bryan Bishop. All other video production magic is credited to Regina Dellea and John Lagomarsino. Ross Miller used to be the writer but gave up the reins to run around calling himself "producer." As of this writing, he isn't sure what that means.

PS: Corn syrup. Wheat flour. Citric Acid. Artificial Flavor. Red #40.