The bike search begins

Alright, I'm ready to get a new bike. My old one was murdered, and I was tired of it anyway. It had drop bars that were too low, it had an aluminum frame that was uncomfortable, a bad seat that never felt supportive (my original, slightly better seat, was stolen), and never felt very energy efficient compared to my roommate's bike.

I still want to ride fixed gear (with flip flop for special occasions), but I want a more relaxed, upright posture most of the time. My dream (possibly impossible) is a bike I can ride gently to work and not get too sweaty, but then race around Central Park at top speed when the mood strikes. I also want to learn how to skid stop on my fixie so I can go down to one brake. Jumping on and off curbs, bar spins (with the front brake off), and wheelies would be nice but not totally necessary.

When I was in LA I rented a $250 pink fixie that was too small for me (50 instead of 54 I think) which was really fun because it felt under my control completely. I liked pulling up on the bars and doing a quick wheelie off the starting line at lights after a track stand.

I'm willing to pay up to maybe $800 if I can get something ultra reliable and perfect, but am willing to consider a much cheaper bike that I could upgrade or replace parts along the way.

Requirements:

  • Steel frame with non-aggressive posture. Lightweight is nice, but secondary to strength and comfort.
  • comfy seat meant for sitting upright.
  • handlebars that come toward me but have grip for more aggressive riding when needed (not dropped, but at least flat and center fwd)
  • rain-proof everything, if that's a thing -- I like to ride all weather
  • World's greatest bottom bracket (I'm kind of heavy and can deliver a lot of torque, plus I don't want something that disintegrates when it gets wet)
  • i don't know anything about wheels, but I guess solid wheels that I can jump onto curbs with (occasionally necessary in ny to dodge a bad situation)
  • I think my crank is good but open to suggestions
  • I like my pedals I guess, so i'll keep those
  • cages that won't fall apart and have room for larger shoes, and can mount to my funky plastic glow in the dark pedals
  • option for mounting luggage rack if I decide I want one
I'm sure I'm forgetting something... Or maybe I have the wrong idea about this whole thing. Open to any and all suggestions, including pics of your sweet setup if you'd like to share.