Dearly beloved, we are gathered here today to witness something special. Something magical. Something divine. Something something The Vergecast. We have come together in this place and have heard the willingness to be Vergecasting. They have come of their own free will [wink] and in our hearing have made a covenant of discord. They have given and received verbal barbs as the seal of their promises. By virtue of the authority vested in me under literally zero laws in any governance, I now pronounce today's episode. No touching.

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