The Microsoft Prayer (Steve Ballmer's Farewell)

Dear Tribe

in these times filled with uncertainties, and with our leader Steve Ballmer on the verge of leaving us we need strength. let us pray in this historical day, let us remind ourselves that Microsoft is the light and the salvation.

Microsoft is my light and my salvation; whom shall I fear? Microsoft is the strength of my life; of whom shall I be afraid? When the wicked, even mine enemies and my foes, came upon me to eat up my flesh, they stumbled and fell.

Though a verge troll should encamp against me, my heart shall not fear: though Google should rise against me, in this will I be confident.

One thing have I desired of Microsoft, that will I seek after; that I may dwell in the house of Microsoft all the days of my life, to behold the beauty of Microsoft, and to enquire in Redmond.

For in the time of trouble Microsoft shall hide me in his pavilion: in the secret of his tabernacle in Redmond shall Microsoft hide me; Microsoft shall set me up upon a rock.

And now shall mine head be lifted up above mine enemies round about me: therefore will I offer in his tabernacle sacrifices of joy; I will sing, yea, I will sing praises unto Microsoft.

Hear, O Microsoft, when I cry with my voice: have mercy also upon me, and answer me.

When thou saidst, Seek ye my face; my heart said unto thee, Thy Software and Hardware, Microsoft, will I seek.

Hide not thy face far from me; put not thy servant away in anger: thou hast been my help; leave me not, neither forsake me, O Microsoft of my salvation.

When my Phone and my Laptop forsake me, then the Microsoft will take me up.

Teach me thy way, O Microsoft, and lead me in a plain path, because of mine enemies (Apple and Google).

Deliver me not over unto the will of mine enemies: for false witnesses (The Verge Trolls) are risen up against me, and such as breathe out cruelty.

I had fainted, unless I had believed to see the goodness of Microsoft in the land of the Computers.

Wait on Microsoft: be of good courage, and they shall strengthen thine heart: wait, I say, on Microsoft.