Future Android Names
With the recent announcement of KitKat as the next name in the Android livery, I thought it would be fun to try and predict the future names of Android.
Lollypop will more than likely be the name of this version when Google hires on Scott Forstall to redesign Android with eye candy and lickable icons.
This honor goes to every nerds favorite soft drink Mountain Dew, whats better is that Google and Pepsi will team up to release a new flavor commemorating the release of the new OS, which nobody will notice is Distortion, a flavor that failed to get votes in the Dewmocracy election of 2010.
Boston's favorite confection finally gets the recognition it deserves when Google chooses Necco Wafers as the name.
Oranges are often considered as treats in third world countries, and with Google's new balloon-if networks popping up, they're going to need a cheap (probably crippled) version of Android to run on these networks. Bam! Orange will do.*
*After a lengthy court battle with mobile carrier Orange.**
**If lost, then it will be renamed Oreo.
Ah yes, P, the one that the internet helped name, which was once a good idea...until the trolls got wind of such and massively flooded the submission box. So congratulations internet for being dicks and having your new version of Android named Potato.
Umm...What starts with Q and is a dessert? is Quiche a desert? Fuck it, it Quiche! it's a baked good so close enough.
R will automatically be Red Bull. C'mon, like it won't be? Red Bull has cash out the ass and barely make a dent spending it on sports teams, and random events of people's stupidity, THEY DROPPED A MAN FROM SPACE!!! Why use R for Red Bull? FUCK YOU, THATS WHY!!!
Google will focus their attention an making a version of Android that works much much better with very cheap phones, so naturally they name it after a very cheap candy, Smarties.
T will be the most popular version of Android because it will be called Twinkie, and just like the Twinkie, it will go off the market, and miraculously come back a year later, with people clamoring to buy as many as they can.
This one will be called Uber, not after the app, but rather because they just want to use the word uber. This version of Android will be so uber.
Virgin will buy the rights to this one, it will be designed by Branson himself, and run on Virgin Mobile's network. And for the record, Virgin did make a soda at one time.
Google likes to view themselves as the Willy Wonka of the tech industry, so it's only fitting that they would acknowledge this by naming it after the most famous (and fictional) character in candy, Wonka.
Xiaodianxin, which is Chinese for cookie...or at least I think it is. Anyway, this is a special version of Android developed specifically for the Chinese market, so more than likely, this will be the most widely adopted version.
Ah yes Yoohoo, the delicious chocolate drink made out if water in an era of fallout shelters. This concoction shall go great with the watered down version of Android that will plague humanity.
Zebra Cakes. Yeah, you thought I wouldn't find one for Z, but I did.
If you have any ideas on what Android should be called, leave a comment, and feel free to submit photoshops of these new names.