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    Donald Trump and other people who want to be king of America, ranked

    Donald Trump and other people who want to be king of America, ranked

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    Which candidate would you eat a corndog with?

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    By one conservative estimate, there are 21 people in the running for president of the United States. Of those, 16 are Republicans. There are so many candidates, The New York Times had to run a piece called "Who is running for president?" This poses a problem for responsible voters — there just aren't enough hours in the week to get to know all these people. But The Verge is here to help.

    Fortunately we have monolithic algorithms that can reduce human beings to sortable bits of metadata. We are pleased to provide voters with this ranking of 2016 presidential candidates based on our proprietary Verge Electability Score™: a 100-point score based on an arbitrary qualitative analysis of Google Image Search's recommended related topics. For instance, here's what we see when searching for the incumbent, President Barack Obama:

    obama

    Obama, as a two-term president, receives an electability score of 200 / 100.

    The Democrats

    Lincoln Chafee
    chafee

    Keywords: FAMILY, 2015, 2016

    Who is Lincoln Chafee? We're not sure. He appears to be the only member of his family, and it's difficult to know in which year he's actually running for president. As far as we know there's no 2015 presidential election. Highly unelectable.

    Electability Score: 5.6 / 100

    Martin O'Malley
    omalley

    Keywords: FAMILY, POLAR BEAR, ABS

    Maryland has never produced a US president, but that might change very soon. Martin O'Malley makes a strong showing out of the gate — look at that beautiful family! look at those abs! — and we're ready to say that he's the dark horse in the Democratic race. Is America ready for a hot president?

    Electability Score: 88.3 / 100

    Bernie Sanders
    sanders

    Keywords: QUOTES, 2016, SOCIALIST

    Bernie Sanders is the current liberal darling of the Democratic field, and receives a small boost in our ranking for strong performance in image macros. However, he receives a substantial penalty for forcing voters to read.

    Electability Score: 32.1 / 100

    Joe Biden
    biden

    Keywords: YOUNG, TATTOO, FAMILY

    You might think Joe Biden could be the young cool guy president, but check it: several of these photos are clearly in black and white. And the one in color is clearly a Photoshop from The Onion. Joe isn't fooling anyone. He also hasn't decided if he's running.

    Electability Score: 2.5 / 100

    Hillary Clinton
    clinton

    Keywords: YOUNG HILLARY AND BILL, 2016, PANTSUIT

    A pantsuit for every mood of the electorate. Highly electable.

    Electability Score: 92.7 / 100

    The Republicans

    Jeb Bush
    bush

    Keywords: FAMILY, GEORGE W BUSH, SON

    Is George W. Bush really a magician who conjures a brother named Jeb? Does it matter? Will America elect anybody named Bush? Yes.

    Electability Score: 84.2 / 100

    Ben Carson
    carson

    Keywords: TWINS, FAMILY, OPERATING

    Is Ben Carson running for president, or for patriarch of a '90s sitcom?

    Electability Score: 12.4 / 100

    Chris Christie
    christie

    Keywords: WEIGHT LOSS, BASEBALL, EATING

    Christie hits two of America's favorite pastimes.

    Electability Score: 66.6 / 100

    Ted Cruz
    cruz

    Keywords: TATTOO, FAMILY, COLORING BOOK

    Cruz's coloring book is a strong play for the youth vote. Unfortunately these youths have not reached voting age.

    Electability Score: 8.3 / 100

    Carly Fiorina

    Keywords: 2015, 2014, 2013

    Wanted: Somebody to go back in time with me and elect me president. This is not a joke. P.O. Box 322, Oakview, CA 93022. You'll get paid after we get back. Must bring your own weapons. Safety not guaranteed. I have only done this once before.

    Electability Score: 88.8 / 100

    Lindsey Graham
    mccain


    Keywords: AIR FORCE, JOHN MCCAIN, SMILE

    By default, Graham's points are awarded to John McCain, who is not running for president.

    Electability Score: 0 / 100

    Mike Huckabee
    huckabee

    Keywords: BOOK, WEIGHT, FAMILY

    Huckabee is so boring he exposes a flaw in The Verge's scoring system.

    Electability Score: ¯\_(ツ)_/¯ / 100

    Bobby Jindal
    jindal

    Keywords: WIFE, OBAMA, DUCK DYNASTY

    By mixing Obama with Duck Dynasty, Jindal is a volatile mixture, likely to explode in the polls. Duck and cover.

    Electability Score: 7.3 / 100

    Rand Paul
    rand

    Keywords: WIFE, FAMILY, SON ARRESTED

    A beautiful couple. A beautiful family. A son they can't control.

    Electability Score: 29.4 / 100

    Marco Rubio
    rubio

    Keywords:

    Marco Rubio is the only candidate in the election without Google Image Search categories. Our understanding is that this makes him constitutionally ineligible to run for president of the United States.

    Electability Score: Disqualified

    Rick Santorum
    santorum

    Keywords: FAMILY, DAUGHTER, SWEATER VEST

    Rick Santorum has come from behind to defeat an extensive troll to sexualize his last name in Google Search results. The sweater vest candidate makes a strong showing.

    Electability Score: 82.5 / 100

    Rick Perry
    perry

    Keywords: GUN, GLASSES, CORNDOG

    With this spread, Perry has all but secured the Texas vote, and possibly sections of Brooklyn that misidentify him as a hipster.

    Electability Score: 81.8 / 100

    Donald Trump
    trump

    Keywords: HAIR, HOUSE, CARS

    As General Patton said, "Americans love a winner and will not tolerate a loser." As it appears Donald Trump has won the lottery. We sadly concede that Donald Trump will become the next president of the United States.

    Electability Score: 99.6 / 100