clock menu more-arrow no yes

Filed under:

90 Seconds on The Verge: Wednesday, November 14, 2012

Congress of Hamburgerlandbegun and held at the City of New-Grill, on Wednesday the fourteenth of November, two thousand and twelve.Amendment ICongress shall make no law resepcting an establishment of vegetarianism but indeed explicitly prohibiting the free exercise thereof.Amendment IIA well sauced Condiment Tray, being necessary to the taste of a free Patty, the right of the people to keep bare Buns, shall not be infringed.Amendment IIINo Hamburger shall, in time of hunger, be quartered by any knife without the consent of the Customer, nor in time of satisfaction, but in a manner to be prescribed by the Waiter.Amendment IVThe right of the Burgers to be secure in their wrappers, containers, and bags, against unreasonable manhandling and seizures, shall not be violated, and no Waiters shall issue, but upon probable cause, supported by Oath or affirmation, and particularly describing the place to be searched, and the patties or buns to be eaten.[Amendments V through VII have been lost over time to excessive ketchup and grease stains. Thus the appreciateion of Amendment VIII]Amendment VIIIExcessive ketchup shall not be required, nor excessive grease imposed, nor cruel and unusual sauces inflicted.Amendment IXThe enumeration in the Constitutaion, of certain rights, shall not be construed to deny or disparage others ordered by the Customer.Amendment XThe powers not delegated to Hamburgerland by the Constitution, nor prohibied by it to the Grills, are reserved to the Grills respectively, or to the Burgers.