Hello! And welcome to “The Complete Idiot’s Guide To Appreciating Carly Rae Jepsen For Dummies Maybe.” It’s really great that you’ve chosen to click on this link, for whatever reason. Thank you. As a D-list celebrity Carly Rae Jepsen appreciator, I get a lot of questions via email and Twitter about my second-favorite Canadian pop star. Maybe you’ve got a little crush: “Trent, do you know if Carly Rae is single?” Perhaps you’re a “Call Me Maybe” structuralist: “What is the deal with this song?” Or maybe you’re just challenging the authenticity of my “like:” “Do you really like Carly Rae Jepsen?”

No matter what site you were browsing before you clicked on this link, welcome! If you’re a tl;dr kinda asshole, I’ll give you this (for everyone else: spoiler alert!): I really do like Carly Rae Jepsen, really, which, if you’re still reading this, begs the crucial question of the Guide: “How do you really like Carly Rae Jepsen, really?”