Lasers, you know? It's like every time you turn around, they're beaming your priceless cultural artifacts to the moon. Then as soon as you get them to stop, they're taking naked pictures of you and showing everyone at the TSA. What's next? Lasers that kick the girl next to you in class and then disappear, so you get blamed for it? Lasers that steal your keys, and beam them to space? And here we thought lasers were just good for being the best gun in Goldeneye for Nintendo 64. Ugh.

Stories of the day:

Mona Lisa rides a NASA laser beam 240,000 miles into space

TSA pulls the plug on 'naked' X-ray scanners after maker fails to guarantee privacy

FCC Chairman calls for gigabit internet in all 50 states by 2015

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