"I am not burned. I'm a hamburger. I once had lettuce, tomatoes, and the love of a beautiful sesame seed bun. Now I only have two things: ketchup, and... uh... mustard. Huh? My story? Okay. It was never easy for me. I was born a chargrilled patty. I remember the days, sittin' on the grill with my family, sizzlin' and dancin' down in McDonald's..."