Hello. It appears you're trying to enroll in our healthcare program. Would you like some help? Perhaps I can direct you to a specialist for that headache you are getting after staring at error screens on our website. No? You're all set? Well if you need anything, just ask for Clippy. Why am I a paperclip and not something medical related? I don't know. People loved me on Office, but I don't think it's translating well to this site.

Stories of the day:

• Former executive in charge of Microsoft Office is taking over Healthcare.gov
• Target refuses to sell 'Beyoncé' due to iTunes-first launch
• Beyoncé's surprise new release is the fastest-selling album on iTunes ever
• Joseph Gordon-Levitt is working with Neil Gaiman on 'The Sandman' movie
• Shia LaBeouf apologizes for plagiarizing artist Daniel Clowes in short film

Hosted by Josh Lowensohn. Written by Nathan Cykiert and Ross Miller. Video Production by Zach Goldstein.