"Hello customer #11864. Welcome to Applebee's, America's favorite bar and restaurant. Can I interest you in a delicious appetizer from our kitchen? We have a special today on JERK CHICKEN WINGS WITH DIPPING SAUCES. I will leave you now and come back with some human beverages. You are our favorite slave, I mean customer."

Stories of the day:

• Twitter names the first woman to its board of directors
• Bitcoin banned from Chinese banks amid fears of laundering
• Applebee's installing 100,000 tablets to take orders and kill boredom

Hosted by Sam Sheffer. Written by Nathan Cykiert and Ross Miller. Video Production by John Lagomarsino.