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Newt Gingrich is 'really puzzled' by cellphones that take pictures and needs your help

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Gingrich lols
Gingrich lols

After losing his bid for the 2012 Republican presidential nomination, and his chance to build a manned moon base by 2020, Newt Gingrich is turning his sights on pressing issues a little closer to home. "We're really puzzled," Gingrich says in a new video, clutching a small handheld device. "Here at Gingrich Productions, we've spent weeks figuring out what do you call this? You probably think it's a cellphone." It's a smartphone, of course, but at no point in the former House speaker's two-and-a-half minute video does he utter the phrase. "But think about it," Gingrich says. "If it's taking pictures, it's not a cellphone. If you can get Wikipedia or go to Google, that's not a cellphone."

"Think about it," Gingrich says, "this device is something new and different. I've been calling it a handheld computer, but I decided that's really misleading." Explaining that the device in his hand "has the computing power of a 2003 laptop," Gingrich extols its virtues, noting that "its real power is networking."

To fix the quandary, Gingrich would like to enlist your help to rename the mysterious technology. "We've been here before," he says. "When we first developed the automobile, it was called the horseless carriage." Of course, smartphone users now make up the majority of mobile users in the US, so there's not much confusion on the part of consumers. Still, Gingrich is determined. "I think that we need to have a new conversation about re-centering American politics and government around the kind of breakthroughs that this makes possible" — whatever this thing is, anyway.