Okay, so here's the pitch. You'll be playing a lab technician for some super science-y place — lots of future stuff — and you'll accidentally be working late at night and fall into this cloning machine. And you'll come out as both you and then a dog version of you. But then the machine breaks down and government agents know you're the only key left so they're hunting you down. But! They're looking for you... and also a dog version of you. So you two argue it out — yes, of course the dog speaks English, it's a clone version of you — and you two decide to dress up the dog as a human and enroll it in college. But like, a sexy college full of beautiful people. So now you're in hiding at a nearby university while G-men with guns and sunglasses hunt you down. It'll be great! We start shooting in a month and the director was a camera operator who worked on the Fast and Furious series, which is great, because he knows his way around films and in fact we were thinking about calling this Fast and Furry-ous because, well duh, your name would be Kyle "Nine" Fast. Get it? K-9? Okay, so just sign here and let's make movie history!
Stories of the day
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- Ellen earns the most retweets ever for her Oscars selfie
- Apple's CarPlay puts iOS on your dashboard
- Arby's buys Pharrell's hat on eBay for $44,000
Written and hosted by Ross Miller. Video production — "the good stuff" — by John Lagomarsino.