Sit back, relax, and let your supportive and loving internet service provider, Comcast, take care of you. In a matter of moments, we will begin the acquisition of your eyeballs. Do not fear, the process is actually quite simple. You won't feel a thing. Just think of it more as a partnership between our innovative company and your beautiful eyes. It works out well for all parties involved; you will gain top-of-the-line 20/20 vision and we'll get to beam advertisements for Comcast properties straight into your brain.
Story of the day:
- Comcast has very bad reasons for wanting to buy Time Warner Cable
- The Internet is fucked
- Sen. Al Franken: Comcast buying Time Warner Cable could threaten 'open nature' of internet
- Comcast will reportedly buy Time Warner Cable for $45 billion
Hosted by Adi Robertson. Written by Ross Miller, Nathan Cykiert, and Adi Robertson. Video Production by Zach Goldstein and John Lagomarsino.