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'Watch Dogs' launch trailer reveals that hacking is mostly shooting and explosions

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Do you want to be a hacker? The launch trailer of Watch Dogs, the long-anticipated open-world game about surveillance that comes out on May 27th, provides a useful checklist of things you should be familiar with:

  • Motorcycle racing
  • Car racing
  • Boat racing
  • Running on top of trains
  • Slide-kicking convenience store clerks
  • Shooting men in the stomach
  • Shooting men in the head
  • Walking away from explosions in slow motion

There's also some basic script-kiddie stuff, like cutting electricity to an entire city block, but let's be honest. The real work of computer infiltration is done with a gun and an internal combustion engine.

Only touched on in the trailer is one vital fact: you must find a female friend, lover, or relative who can be conveniently murdered to provide you with motivation. Whatever it says in your Java textbook, revenge is the only way anyone truly learns to code.