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Which cyborg implant should you get?

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As someone with a magnet and NFC chip implanted in my hand, here's one of the most frequent questions I get: What else is out there? It's an excellent and difficult question, especially because there are whole classes of time-tested medical implants and prosthetics that might qualify as transhuman enhancements. Outside these, there's still a spectrum of technology from the obvious to the experimental, used everywhere from respected universities to makeshift home surgical theaters. I can't tell you just how many different ways there are to be a "cyborg," or what you'll be able to do in the coming years. But hopefully I can give everyone some small sense of where our posthuman future stands right now.