Brands have had it really tough since Mitt Romney declared they're people just like us; now they have to act human! Apparently the first step towards personhood is to be really sad on Twitter every year even though we're now more than a decade beyond 9/11. So you get tweets like this one from Weber, a company that makes grills:
Notice the perfect framing in this shot. The sadly drooping but still upright American flag, a backyard from Anytown USA, and finally, in the distance, the Summit® Grill Center Series grill with a Dual-Ring Side Burner, a Sear Station® Burner, and Adjustable Stainless Steel Shelving. It sure would be great to pop that sucker open and roast some flesh on this day of sadness and remembrance.
Dear brands: it's okay to forget 9/11
The real lesson — the one brands never truly forget — is that brands never really learn their lesson. Last year AT&T had to apologize because its Tweet Of Remembrance was even more crass than Weber's, featuring a guy looking at the remains of Lower Manhattan through a smartphone that was surely connected to The Nation's Fastest And Most Reliable Network.
Dear brands: it's okay to forget 9/11. In fact, we insist that you do. Some of us are trying to forget, knowing that a president who campaigned on the idea that he wasn't the guy who took the United States to war all over the planet is about to take us to war in the same places for the same reasons. Brands are not obligated to have feelings, let alone express grief that's not really theirs. Nobody is standing in the aisle at Target and stopping to think "oh, gee, I wonder if Huggies, maker of diapers my baby will shit in later, paused today to recognize a horrendous terrorist attack that happened a dozen years ago."
On the other hand, if you need a good place to go drown your sorrows today, head on down to Applebee's: your neighborhood bar and grill. They may not have TGI Fridays' endless mozzarella sticks, but today they're offering bottomless grief.
We will never forget. pic.twitter.com/7zJrh3ACWh— Applebee's (@Applebees) September 11, 2014
Always in our hearts. #WeWillNeverForget— Kohl's (@Kohls) September 11, 2014
Today we honor the memory of those who lost their lives on September 11. pic.twitter.com/OW2FZt8O8l— Dunkin' Donuts (@DunkinDonuts) September 11, 2014
Our hearts and thoughts are with everyone affected by the tragic events that took place 13 years ago today. #NeverForget— Huggies® (@Huggies) September 11, 2014
We'll never forget. Our hearts go out to all those affected by 9/11. pic.twitter.com/NQKGnzlvf2— Macy's (@Macys) September 11, 2014
Today we remember lives lost on #September11. We honor our veterans, soldiers & first responders who worked to keep our country safe.— ConAgra Foods (@ConAgraFoods) September 11, 2014
We will never forget.— Ace Hardware (@AceHardware) September 11, 2014
Never forget. pic.twitter.com/dYHd9ordTe— Perkins® Restaurants (@EatAtPerkins) September 11, 2014
Today we honor the heroes and remember those who lost their lives on 9/11/01. pic.twitter.com/WbR2Cp97uk— Cinnabon (@Cinnabon) September 11, 2014
Always remember. pic.twitter.com/jxh7Ppc6b7— LG Electronics (@LGUS) September 11, 2014
We honor the legacy of those we lost and those who serve. We will always remember. pic.twitter.com/k7xyXqPqIO— Brooks Brothers (@BrooksBrothers) September 11, 2014
Today, we remember. pic.twitter.com/Dw7nyXGMGP— Nordstrom (@Nordstrom) September 11, 2014
Let's take today to honor those that protect and serve us each and every day. Thank you.— Red Lobster (@redlobster) September 11, 2014
Save time for reflection this Patriot Day morning.— IKEA USA (@IKEAUSA) September 11, 2014
Never Forget. pic.twitter.com/eTPJd2dLKl— Harley-Davidson (@harleydavidson) September 11, 2014
Always Remember. pic.twitter.com/2SsTeoemjf— Walmart (@Walmart) September 11, 2014
In honor of #9-11 http://t.co/TLh0FDgcYr is offering 20% off anything with Stars and Stripes. Code Starsandstripes at checkout— TheCaveStore (@Cave_store) September 11, 2014
Today, we keep in mind the strength and courage shown on September 11th. pic.twitter.com/G9QKAbOEmd— Lord & Taylor (@lordandtaylor) September 11, 2014
We will never forget. pic.twitter.com/H7KpEcqjPG— Bass Pro Shops (@Bass_Pro_Shops) September 11, 2014
Rembering those who lost their lives on September 11, 2011. 40% OFF END OF SUMMER CLEARANCE… http://t.co/aAF3ENwtBr— Intimacy Box (@intimacybox) September 11, 2014
To Remembrance 911：Up to 90% Off All Jewelry ★ $9.99 Charms Bracelets http://t.co/xOk9tzi0RT— Pugster Jewelry (@PugsterJewelry) September 10, 2014