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An imaginary life with Microsoft's new HoloLens

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"Honey, have you seen the Skype icon?"

"The what?"

"The Skype icon! I need to Holo-call Ted."

"Did you check by the couch? I think you drunk-holo-dialed your sister last night!"

"I'm in the living room now, and I don't see it!"

"What about the bedroom?"

"I already checked there!"

"You know, if you'd just update the HoloLens firmware, you'd have universal voice search!"

"No, no, no, it took me days to get everything set up, and I don't want to risk a factory reset... SHIT! SHIT!"

"What is it?"

"I just kicked over your Minecraft castle."

"What the hell?! I've been working on that all morning!"

"I'm sorry! When did you last save?"

"An hour ago! Can you please undo!"

"How do I un-"

"Hold your left hand up in front of the castle, fingers facing the ceiling. Then take the first two fingers on your right hand and touch your palm."

"Okay."

"Step off the castle first."

"I am off the castle! Okay I think we're good but I still need to—"

"Tap your nose with your right hand to save, and then please quit out of Minecraft."

"Right. Right. Okay, now we're good, but I need that Skype icon."

"Can't you just video call Ted from a phone? I think there's one in the file cabinet."

"Video calling Ted? From a smartphone? Who do you think I am, Gram-gram?"

"Well..."

"Forget it. Just, ugh, forget it. I'll holo-chat with him tomorrow."

"Alright. Did you feed Holo-dog? Because we can't keep feeding him so late. It makes him Holo-gassy."

"Don't worry, honey, I already fed him."

"The cheap stuff or the good stuff?"

"The cheap stuff. I can't get the in-app purchases to work on the old firmware. That's why I was calling —"

"Zeep, zeeeeeep, zeep zorp..."

"Honey?"

"... 34 30 34 20 68 65 6c 70... "

"Again?! Damn it, this is the second time this month. Okay, now where'd I put that icon for Holo-wife customer support."