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Kid Rock on the internet: good for porn, bad for FaceTweets

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'Bawitdaba da bang a dang diggy diggy diggy said the boogy said up jump the economically conservative, but socially moderate-oogy!'

Rick Diamond/Getty Images

Kid Rock opened the hatch beneath his brain space and verbally carpet bombed an op-ed in The Guardian. At middle age, the singer responsible for pop radio hits "Bawitdaba" and "Cowboy" has become something of a modern Mark Twain character, occasionally appearing in puffy Sunday morning news pieces and generous newspapers to opine on technology and politics with the charm and sass of a spilled bottle of bourbon being slurped up by a billy goat.

"I don't FaceTweet or whatever people do," says Rock. "I understand that I'm the old guy now. I turn on my computer and look at porn a little bit, see what's going on in the news, but that's about it. I'm comfortable with that."

Rock's internet absences is a shame; his mental nuggets would fit comfortably on Twitter or any of the internet's favorite libertarian message boards or image sharing services. Says Rock:

"I am no fan of abortion, but it's not up to a man to tell a woman what to do. As an ordained minister I don't look forward to marrying gay people, but I'm not opposed to it [...] I don't smoke much weed, it makes me dumb. But they should legalize and tax everything: pot, cocaine, heroin. Has it not been proven that people will always find a way to get what they want?"

Kid Rock may not think he belongs on social media, but he has the same credentials as the rest of us. "Schoolbook-wise I'm not as educated as some politicians," Rock says, "but I am more connected to the people around me: Detroit, Alabama, Florida, Malibu."