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Watch woman yell 'bear don’t eat my kayak' as bear eats kayak

If karma is real, then it's neatly demonstrated by this video — starring a bear, a kayak, and an increasingly upset woman — from Southeast Alaska. "Thank you for leaving my kayak alone," camera operator Mary Maley shouts to a bear roving around outside a US Forest Service cabin in Berg Bay. "I'm going to pepper spray you in the face." The bear, presumably annoyed by the burst of stinking, stinging liquid, turns on its furry heels and decides to set about destroying the thing the unseen Maley apparently loves the most.

"You're supposed to be asleep!"

"Why are you doing that?" she shouts, trying to reason with the fluffy mass of muscle, teeth, and claws as it bats around her kayak like a chunk of polystyrene. "Why are you breaking my kayak?" When appealing to the bear's (non-existent) sense of mercy fails, Maley instead turns to the laws of nature, asking the bear why it's roaming around at the end of September when it's "supposed to be asleep." Throughout, she refers directly to the bear as "bear" — perhaps if she'd learned its name, the creature might have felt more inclined to leave her kayak alone.

"Please stop breaking my things!" she pleads, switching tactics with the bear as it openly defies her increasingly desperate orders. "It's not even food! It doesn't even taste good!" The situation looks dire for Maley, but even with a slavering bear at her front door, she's never once tempted to use any bad words. "Oh gosh darn it!" she screams, the beast destroying her link with civilization. Maley, who the Alaska Daily News reports was on a 107-mile kayak journey from Ketchikan to Petersburg in the southern tip of the state, says she was forced to swim out to a nearby sailing boat, hitching a ride back to the city of Wrangell to repair her damaged vessel. The bear, presumably, is now asleep, its belly full of delicious kayak.