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Selfies are America's new pastime

On Wednesday night, about a dozen members of Arizona State's chapter of the Alpha Chi Omega sorority went to a Major League Baseball game. Two MLB announcers noticed that the women seemed to be enjoying taking selfies with their churros and texting more than they were enjoying the game.

The announcers, enthralled, spend the next two minutes watching the girls and mostly ignoring the baseball game themselves, providing voiceover like: "That's the best one of the 300 pictures I've taken of myself today," "There's my first bite of the churro... there's my second bite of the churro," and ultimately / weirdly bemoaning the chore that is parenting in 2015. They also point out that the girls don't seem to understand that "the beauty of baseball" lies in having a conversation with the person next to you. Which is weird, because most of them seem to be having a delightful time enjoying each other's company.

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Honestly, I give these girls props just for leaving their homes and going somewhere in a large group. That's more than I can manage without extreme cajoling and extensive prep work.

And props for focusing on the churros. What greater moment in your life to document? I want to take a photo of a churro and then eat a churro right now. I bet those commentators get free churros, and that's why they can't get excited about the churro selfies. Check your churro privilege, gentleman.

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These guys acknowledge that the best part of a baseball game is the social element, so they do know how totally boring baseball can be. (Is there anybody on planet Earth who can say that the baseball at a baseball game is more fun than the snacks?) I will concede that almost no one looks good while in the process of taking a selfie. That's why I can't and don't take selfies. But if you have the confidence to look silly for a minute in public, I am so happy for you and your healthy affection for yourself!

In short, fellas: don't knock it until you try it. Take a selfie from that booth, and see how you feel. Test the waters.

Anyway, I really relate to this girl, who has been ostracized for committing the crime of being brunette and choosing a food that will not photograph well.

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