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Join the air-volution, bruh

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Welcome to the future!

It's time: Someone needs to incapacitate the brands.

A series of middling films about time travel were made between 1985 and 1990. In the middle film (of the three middling films), the main character uses a time machine to go to what was, at the time, considered the future: October 21, 2015. October 21, 2015 is still considered the future, but it's coming up soon, and what better way to celebrate than to make some money for Universal Pictures Home Entertainment?

To that end, Universal Pictures Home Entertainment is promoting a collector's edition Blu-Ray set of the three not-even-good-but-I-could-maybe-be-convinced-are-somewhat-historically-significant films with a commercial for a hoverboard. (The main character of the movie has a hoverboard, which has had adverse effects on American culture too numerous to list.)

Someone needs to incapacitate the brands.

The commercial is hosted by an adult man (let's call him Jerry) whose teeth are not the best in the world, who is wearing very, very fake dreads, a single glove, a single elbow pad on the arm opposite the single glove, a tank top covered in tropical cocktails, and an inappropriate amount of self-esteem.

hoverboard commercial

Here are some features of the hoverboard that Jerry lists:

  • Air ("comes standard")
  • Wheels
  • Friction
  • Little air
  • Big air
  • Air air
  • Mega air

Here are some of the hoverboard puns our host makes (I may have missed some, it was hard to listen to Jerry very attentively):

  • Get the attitude of altitude
  • Join the air-volution
  • Houston, we have air

Here's what Jerry says at the end of the commercial. This part is verbatim, and I am positive of that because I watched it 14 consecutive times:

Air's no longer just for breathing, bruh. Out of my way, birds!

hoverboard commercial

In sum: did you know that Back to the Future is overrated? I understand fully that this video is supposed to be somewhat silly, and that Universal is winking at us, presumably as acknowledgement of the HORROR THAT THE HYPOTHETICAL HOVERBOARD HAS WROUGHT. What I do not understand, is anything else. Not "bruh." Not fake dreadlocks on a bad white guy. Not Jimmy Buffet's line of skater wear. And certainly not this:

hoverboard commercial


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