Today the first trailer for Angelina Jolie-Pitt's directorial follow-up to Unbroken was released. It's a period piece set in the '70s about a couple whose marriage goes through some turbulent shit when they relocate to the south of France. Did I mention that Jolie-Pitt and her husband, famous actor Brad Pitt, play the married couple? And that they, too, live in the south of France? (With a vineyard, of course; and I've tried their rosé, of course; because when someone offers you "Brangelina rosé" you don't say no.)
To get into character for this emotionally taxing role, Angelina must partake in that most hallowed of Important Actress rites of passage: the Hardworking '70s Wig. The load the HSW bears is no trifle: it must be '70s enough that we can never forget this movie takes place in the '70s, and it must be enough of a wig that there's no mistaking the unhappy character on whose head it sits for Angelina Jolie, famous actress/director.
This first By The Sea clip has no dialogue, but it doesn't need any: Angelina's Hardworking '70s Wig says everything.
LEISURE WIG (SUPINE): 1/10
The feminine answer to that classic '70s staple, the leisure suit, And about as hardworking as the name implies. Throw it on, light up a Virginia Slim and ride out that cocaine comedown.
LEISURE WIG (UPRIGHT): 1.8/10
Rated slightly higher due to its formidable immobility in the face of the Riviera breeze.
PILL TIME WIG: 3.5/10
Do you see Angie check herself in the mirror for a nanosecond there? If your wig isn't working for you while you throw back your Valium, its not a wig worth having. All she wants to do is get high By the Sea. Wig's just along for the ride.
BATH TIME WIG: 5.6/10
Playing with fire here, though I'm sure there's room in the budget for backup HSWs. Still, if you're gonna get your wig wet, there at least better be the fully submerged, staring-up-through-bathwater-how-long-can-I-hold-my-breath shot. Let the wig go out with a sense of stakes.
OSCAR REEL WIG: 7
Muss it up, get those bangs in your eyes and when the director calls cut (oh, whoopsie! The director is YOU!) smile and say "I think we nailed it that time." Your famous husband will not react, because he knows you're talking to your wig.
INTERPRETIVE DANCE-ACTING WIG: 8.9
Now we're in the big leagues. Imagine doing this move every time you noticed something (like, anything; a window-washer outside, a notification on your phone). You can't, because no human head of hair could withstand that much flippage. This is some Sia-video-grade wig action, no faint praise.
FREEDOM WIG: 10/10
The ultimate HSW power move, an indispensable tool for any woman who needs to let loose at a party, even if it's totally Not That Kind of Party, and you're embarrassing your spouse. This is a potentially hazardous move; self-induce whiplash is real, as anyone who lived through electroclash knows. Wouldn't blame Angelina for having a stunt double take over this move. Guess what doesn't need a stunt double? Her wig.