Sometimes, the crushing weight of existence, day in and day out, fueled only by the dizzying monotony of each passing hour, becomes almost unmanageable. Unfortunately, loneliness only seems to get worse as you age, until your body is just a foreign object attached to a brain housing memories that serve only to prove your best years are behind you. Maybe you'll be lucky enough to have a trusty dog or an iguana, or maybe the children you spent most of your life caring for will no longer trust you to take care of a living thing. That's where Hasbro's new Joy for All companion pets come in, a line of robotic cats that meow, purr, and respond to touch. They're just like actual cats, except you never have to feed them or clean their litterbox — you just have to get them new batteries.

Here, I bought you a friend