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Dear Motorola Nexus 6, I hate you

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Dear Nexus 6,

Let me begin this ode by saying that I am a huge Google fan. I've owned a number of Nexus devices, Nexus S, the 4, and the 7(2013). I also owned the original Galaxy S, and a OnePlus One.

I bought you, Nexus 6, in April. I resisted because the OnePlus One was a great phone, but eventually I gave in to temptation. I paid full price for you, which at the time was $799 - over $850 with tax. This is the most I've ever paid for a phone, but you promised to be spectacular.

For the last 6 months I've been trying to convince myself that I love you. The problem is, 6, you are a deeply, deeply flawed device. I've had nothing but trouble throughout our relationship. Here's the short list of my grievances:

You run ridiculously hot, and not just when you are doing something processor intensive - you heat up in the gmail app . . . the gmail app! The Google diagnostic app told me your CPU was running too warm and that I should contact support. I did. They replaced you with a shiny new handset . . . which ran just as hot. Before you accuse me of having wonky apps causing this, you even ran hot in safe mode. I'm tired of my hot pocket.

You were practically unusable for about a month from May through June. Whenever you lost LTE, I would see an exclamation point next to the signal bars and you would lose mobile data and voice. The only way to get either back was to reboot. This worked fine until you lost LTE again. Again, this was no quirk - hundreds of people reported the issue on Google forums.

YOUR BATTERY LIFE SUCKS! Is it too much to ask you for a day of battery life? You have to have one of the biggest batteries on the market, and yet, I would have days where you didn't make it to 2 pm. What was I doing on those days that ate through the battery? Email, news, Facebook. One hour and sixteen minutes of screen time and my battery was down to 6%. Again, you can blame a defective unit, but if you do, you have to blame 2 defective units.

Your camera was pretty lousy when it worked at all. My iPhone toting friends made fun of me when you locked up and refused to take pictures when we were hanging out. Were you trying to prove they were right about iOS?

You have yet to get Marshmallow. It's been over a month since Marshmallow began to roll out, and every other stock device in the house is updated, but not you, you bastard. I've tried to be patient, but, c'mon, I paid big bucks for you - why is my son's N5 getting the update before you?

Was it all bad? No, your screen was glorious for reading and watching video, but our happy moments were fleeting.

And so, I'm leaving you. No, I'm not going to the dark side - I've bought the 6P. And so, this is goodbye, and good riddance 6. I wanted to love you, but you kept letting me down.

Signed,

Me.

[By the way, I'm selling a gently used Nexus 6. The thing is awesome! You should buy it!]