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New Jack City

Happy holidays from Twitter!

We had an incredible 2015 – full of ups, downs, and bitterly fought power struggles. We hope yours was every bit as memorable as ours.

Of course we’re all thrilled to have Jack back at home, even if his beard has gotten a little out of hand. When Dick moved out, we weren’t sure Jack was ready to move back in permanently, but after four months, we decided to take the leap and we’ve never looked back. We’d forgotten how nice it was having him around! He’s been very busy cleaning house and building new ways to make tweets larger and more popular. He says this could be the year we break 140 characters. They said it couldn’t be done!

We’re also #blessed to have more products than ever. Vine has been growing like a weed, and Periscope has already cornered the market for impressionable YouTube teens looking to move into full-on Truman Show territory. When they get tired of Snapchat, Beme, Livetext, and Plurk, Periscope will be right here waiting. Give us your content, teens!

It’s no secret that we’ve had some growth problems. It’s not easy to talk about, but we’ve got lots of plans for spicing up the platform in the new year. You’ve already seen Moments, which catches you up on the scandals, memes, or general complaints you might have missed in the bleak hours you spend away from the app. Actually, maybe you haven’t seen it? We keep moving the button around to make sure.

The truth is, we can’t all be Zuckerbergs. But if we all work hard and believe in ourselves, maybe someday we’ll have a gnomic, world-controlling algorithm to call our own. That’s our wish for this holiday season, and we hope yours come true as well. Here’s to 2016!

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