The Force Awakens is coming next week, and as a man honestly too invested in Star Wars, I couldn't be more excited. In preparation, I've been reading Star Wars novels, playing Star Wars video games, buying Star Wars comics, and — seriously — wearing Star Wars two-way fleece capes. New owner Disney has done a predictably good job in carpet bombing branded merchandise into stores, but there's one area it's fallen short — Star Wars music. There's only so many times you can listen to the Cantina song before you lose your mind, and unsurprisingly, Disney is reluctant to put out a "Greatest Jizz Hits" compilation.
It's Star Wars dubstep meets tropical sadboy
Thank the Force, then, for South Korean boy band Exo, whose song "Lightsaber" — created in partnership with Disney — is a stone-cold, Star Wars-themed banger. The track takes the kind of tropical sadboy beats Justin Bieber deploys in his latest tracks, adds plaintive K-pop vocals, a staccato chorus, and fuses the whole thing with drop-obsessed dubstep straight out of 2009. When those drops do come, they're accompanied by lightsaber swooshes and a particularly well-timed jump to hyperspace, giving the listener an aural high that'll make them feel like they can take on the whole Empire themselves.
The video, of course, contains a few factual errors, including one section where band member Sehun hands over his lightsaber to the bouncer on his way into a "Jedi Only" bar. A real Jedi, of course — if they had to enter such a hive of scum and villainy — would try to use a mind trick to smuggle his saber past security, or refuse to be separated from his weapon. But I'll let that slide as long as Sehun and co. stop singing about love and junk, and keep singing primarily about Star Wars.