What time do the Oscars start?

Kickoff is today, February 22nd, at 8:30PM ET/5:30PM PT on ABC. But if you want the full red carpet experience, you'll want to tune in at 7PM ET/4PM PT.

Do you know of any good live blogs?

This one!

Is Billy Crystal hosting this year?

No.

So who is hosting?

Neil Patrick Harris.

Oh wow, I saw him as Hedwig on Broadway!

What? So did I! He laid a big, mushy kiss on the guy right next to me, and I don't know why, but I was just so jealous. Not that I needed that kiss. I guess I just like attention and love from anyone and everyone.

Is that why you're a writer?

Yes.

So who else will be at the Oscars?

You know, the usuals. Paltrow, Tatum, Kidman, Johansson...

Will J. Lo be there?

Mhmm.

What about Jack Black?

You know it! He's performing some tunes with Jennifer Hudson.

Hey, why hasn't Jack Black made a good movie in a while?

He has! A lot of people missed Bernie, which is a real shame. It was directed by Boyhood director and Oscar nominee Richard Linklater.

I have to run, but one more quick question?

Hit me.

I don't want to be rude.

You seem very nice, go ahead.

Do you know how Crash won Best Picture in 2006?

I have been asking myself the same thing for the last decade!

Right? Like, that really caused me to lose faith in the entire institution. That and the recurring focus on old white men.

Hollywood, right!

Right!