Any ride, whenever you want it
In the video above, The Onion does what it does best: takes a plausible occurence about two steps too far and lands on ridiculous comedic gold. The clip's faux newscast introduces Uber's newest high-end car service, Uber Seize, as a luxury option that allows users to stop and hijack nearby vehicles.
An actor playing a senior developer at Uber sounds like he could be the real thing: "Our mission at Uber is to let you take complete control of your transportation." Until he doesn't: "We make sure every one of our drivers can be carjacked at any time, without warning."