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Yesterday, we learned quite a bit about the Apple Watch. Today, I made some really bad dad jokes on Twitter, reinterpreting the development of the Apple Watch through the eyes of one of the greatest poets of the last 20th century. My friend and fellow editor Ross Miller offered me one dollar to post my lyrical history on this website. Later, he upped his offer to two real, physical dollars. Despite my reservations, I do like the idea of being paid in hard currency (it's better than Venmo, which Ross once made me use even though he knew that I am An Old).
Therefore, prepare for a dad joke. I'm sorry.
0/ And now, a brief history of the development of the Apple Watch Edition.
— Dieter Bohn (@backlon) March 11, 2015 1/ Things are pretty good at Apple, but...
— Dieter Bohn (@backlon) March 11, 2015 2/ Apple halts the direction of Apple's design by pushing out Scott Forstall
— Dieter Bohn (@backlon) March 11, 2015 3/ A new era at Apple begins where everybody works together more in a spirit of openness
— Dieter Bohn (@backlon) March 11, 2015 4/ Different teams are able to hear each other.
— Dieter Bohn (@backlon) March 11, 2015 5/ Tim Cook coldly manages manufacturing, enabling efficiences in high end materials like gold. He gets a new nickname.
— Dieter Bohn (@backlon) March 11, 2015 6/ Cook returns to the stage with...
— Dieter Bohn (@backlon) March 11, 2015 7/ A very expensive Apple Watch.
— Dieter Bohn (@backlon) March 11, 2015
Ok, here it comes, this is your last chance to back out. Stop scrolling now. I'll put in a few line breaks in case you want to save yourself from this punchline.
8/ In summary: (1)All right (2)stop, (3)collaborate (4)and listen, (5)Ice (6)is back with (7)my brand new invention.
— Dieter Bohn (@backlon) March 11, 2015 Ross, I want my two dollars.
@backlon pic.twitter.com/SC5cv6xZ69
— Ross Miller (@ohnorosco) March 11, 2015 
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