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David Hasselhoff's new music video features dinosaurs, vikings, flamethrowers — and doesn't suck

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'True Survivor,' from the Kickstarted film Kung Fury

I'm not a fan of ironic, nostalgic schlock, and the new David Hasselhoff music video looks like ironic, nostalgic schlock. So why do I dig it? Let's take a trip through my brain meat!

Maybe what I'm feeling isn't joy, but profound empathy for a man I once watched drunkenly eat a cheeseburger off the floor.

Or maybe this feeling is some chemically induced reaction, replicable whenever someone is shown dinosaurs, flamethrowers, and giant vikings within a certain window of time. Like mixing vinegar and baking soda, this is predictable eruption of happiness.

Or maybe David Hasselhoff belting a powerful '80s action anthem takes me back to 1989, when the man stood atop the Berlin Wall and sang for freedom and peace — interrupting my afternoon cartoons.

It's probably the last one.