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Even junk food becomes food porn on Instagram

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Presented before you is rolled beef polpettine, arranged with jalapeño-infused pomme de terre thins, miniature corn, and cheddar knots, topped with a fruity coulis designed by a world-renowned chef. Or, as it could be more accurately termed, corned beef balls with Pringles, baby corn, and string cheese, covered in Guy Fieri's Mop & Slop BBQ sauce. Any food, it seems, can become fodder for our growing food porn obsession if you set it up neatly and put it on Instagram.

By far the best at mocking this modern phenomenon is mysterious chef Jacques la Merde. As spotted by Eater, La Merde — "Jack Shit" — has spent the last few months building haute cuisine out of hot junk food and recording the results on Instagram, using terrible fast food and supermarket deli fare and arranging tiny portions on huge plates to look like the kind of things you'd get at the fanciest restaurants.

To complete the illusion, the good chef annotates every handcrafted dish with over-exuberant all-caps foodie rants and recaps. "TOO MUCH FERNET AFTER SERVICE LAST NIGHT !!!!" La Merde laments. "HANDS SO SHAKEY I DROPPED MY FAVE TWEEZERS IN THE NITROGEN AND THEY SHATTERED EVRYWHERE. TWICE!!!!" He might not actually be real, but La Merde has skewered the food porn craze expertly with his beautifully plated dishes. Take some notes from his arrangements, and you too could add #nextlevel #plateswagger to your Instagrammed dinner pics.