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Sure, let's put 'meme' in the dictionary, but call us when they add dank memes

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Merriam-Webster has had, in its own words, a bit of a growth spurt, adding a clutch of new words to its unabridged dictionary. These include some genuinely great entries ("colossal squid" is the perfect name for a new cat and/or firstborn) but also a lot of boring-snoring internet words, including WTF, emoji, clickbait, photobomb, and meme. The thing is, I'm not sure if I really care.

savvy marketing from the suits at big Dictionary

I'm not objecting to these additions because they're not particularly new (the Oxford English Dictionary added LOL and OMG to its hallowed pages back in 2011), or because adding them is just more savvy marketing from the suits at Big Dictionary. It's just that there's something about seeing these words defined in all their let-me-look-that-up-in-the-dictionary formality that makes me yearn for something a bit wilder. I mean, sure, we've got memes, but what about dank memes? Dictionaries need to admit that they're just playing catch-up with the internet when it comes to coining hip new words.

If they really want to stay relevant they should start issuing pagers to everyone on the planet (pagers are old now so they're also new and cool, you see?), updating them each morning with a single, new word and its definition. That word is then relevant for only a single day before it becomes laughably old-fashioned. We're not sure exactly how you'd go about picking these words, but it presumably involves some sort of Minority Report situation with teens floating in pools of Mountain Dew. Basically, I'm saying it's way past time we had "dick butt" in the dictionary.