Whenever the President of the United States tweets, there's always a strange race to be that first reply. This phenomenon is true for any celebrity or well known figure, but with Barack Obama it just feels different. His tweets are special — they're etched in time and forever preserved by the US government. The Secret Service is actively reading them. So having that first slot beneath Obama's words isn't insignificant. And people are putting it to amazingly bizarre and nonsensical use.

To get it out of the way, yep, "dad" and "daddy" are by far the most common refrains. 9/11 truthers flock to Obama's replies section. And everyone's thirsty for the follow back. Responses to Obama are vulgar, crass, and usually the kind of thing no one would dare say to the leader of the free world in person. But that's what makes them impossible to look away from. Anyone who looks at Obama's tweet congratulating the Warriors on their NBA title victory will always see this gem right beneath it.

This guy? He just wants his music to be heard. A POTUS / Pope listening party is maybe in the "unlikely" column, but why not try?

People attack Obama and the woman he loves, but within a response or two, they're also there to bring him back up.

Going through some rough personal times? Sometimes talking it out with the POTUS account can help.

Pay no mind to the topic at hand. Who would you rather smash? And within three replies, you've got pointed policy commentary.

Everyone likes to hear they're doing good work.

Who knows. Maybe replying to the president is a faster path to "illegalizing" anime than a Change.org campaign.

Even in serious times, you can click and it's 90 percent likely that your guess — "dad" — is right.

I refuse to click through to any of these accounts. It’d ruin the magic. They’re probably spam or just people I’d ordinarily never follow on Twitter. But every time President Obama tweets, I read his message — while scrolling to that coveted first reply. Never change, internet. Not for a minute.