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Sony wants to make an emoji movie, so I've written the perfect emoji screenplay

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(sad face) (rain cloud) (academy award)

Universal has Minions. Warner Bros. has Lego. In the world of yellow-tinted cartoon franchises, where does that leave Sony? With smiley faces, apparently.

Sony Pictures Animation has reportedly bought a pitch centered around emoji, i.e. the pictographs that add style and new forms of ambiguity to your text messaging. The emoji movie will reportedly be directed by Anthony Leondis (Lilo & Stitch 2: Stitch Has a Glitch) and written by both Leondis and Eric Siegel, but if Sony really wants to fast-track this project, I've got just the thing.

You're welcome, Sony

See, a few months ago, I wrote an international-focused rom-com-crime movie screenplay using nothing but emoji (along with the ocassional bit of punctuation for clarity). I confessed this to Chris Plante on an episode of his What's Tech? podcast, and now I'm presenting the first Act of the revised draft. What better way to make a movie about emoji than with a script that's all emoji?

Listen, Sony, I just want you to know that I've got plenty more — enough to fill a two-hour epic, at least. You know where to find me.