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Jem and the Holograms trailer: a tech bro drama disguised as a teen girl comedy

Pretend you don't know this article is about the second trailer for the film adaptation of 1980s children's cartoon Jem and the Holograms. I know, that's impossible. Humor me.

This fall, Universal Studios will release a film about beautiful young women who use YouTube and social media to become ultra famous. They wear neon face paint, go to war with a malicious executive, and take advice from a robot named Synergy that projects "holograms" from our hero's dead father.

Read that one more time. Now if you told me that Jem and the Holograms is actually a two-hour Google commercial brainstormed en route to a Frisbee Golf tournament in Union Square, I wouldn't even ask for the Uber receipts.

The trailer has the tween bounce of a Disney Channel original movie, and the font is ripped from my niece's Pinterest page, but there's a valuable lesson buried somewhere in here: gender and age are too often used by media makers to divide and control us. But we mustn't let Brands win. Girls, boys, rock women, and valley bros can all come together and enjoy Jem and the Holograms. At least, that's what Synergy tells me.