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President Obama releases summer playlists, snubs One Direction, hurts my feelings

Not my president


With little ceremony, Barack Obama has tweeted out links to his personal playlists for summer vacation. Overall the playlists seem (read: definitely were) carefully and painstakingly crafted to cover every major genre of American music, from the classic to the en vogue. If a sitting president makes a playlist without Bob Dylan on it, that's grounds for impeachment.

Stand-out choices include Florence & the Machine's "Shake it Out," which I did not realize was actually the perfect anthem for Obama's presidency until exactly this moment (yes, John Boehner is the devil on his back), Coldplay's "Paradise," which is the dreariest iteration of the manic pixie dream elephant trope known to man, and a Lumineers deep cut, a choice which is probably illegal.

But Obama is woefully out of touch with the musical taste of pre-teen non-voters, who are responding with righteous indignation at the omission of the new One Direction single "Drag Me Down."

"Drag Me Down" recently broke the Spotify single-day streaming record over its knee, and scored endorsements from this publication and from the world's most handsome Minions fanboy, former bandmate Zayn Malik.

There's honestly no excuse: One Direction's Niall Horan could be recognized as the biggest Barack Obama fan in the world. As a teenager in Ireland he travelled to Dublin to watch the president speak, for his 18th birthday his bandmates gave him a life-size Obama wax figurine (later destroyed by the elements on Horan's porch), and he has said that rumors he ran through an airport yelling "OBAMAAAAAA" are "true to an extent." He loves the guy, and this is the ultimate snub.

Obama even had members of his staff comb the hard copy (???) of the playlists ahead of time, presumably to prevent an embarrassing mistake like this one. Someone better be getting fired.

For summer playlists, they are also sorely lacking in anything that could remotely be considered a song of the summer — no "Cool for the Summer," no "Trap Queen," no Wiz Khalifa (correct call). But the president has spoken, and now it is so: the official song of Summer 2015 is "Pusher Love Girl."

President Obama's official selections for songs to listen to during the daytime when it's summer vacation:

President Obama's official selections for songs to listen to during the nighttime when it's summer vacation: