Today, I was notified of a 100 percent inconsequential Twitter fight involving Zayn Malik, Taylor Swift, and Calvin Harris, three individuals whose activities are of interest to me. After reading up on Zayn's side of the dispute, I went to go see what Calvin Harris, f.k.a. Adam Richard Wiles, had to say about it. For some background: I am generally a fan of Harris; I think he's a competent and occasionally emotionally satisfying pop artist, making him a perfect match for Taylor. In many ways he is the Chris Martin to Taylor's Gwyneth Paltrow (Paltrow, of course, being the ur-lovably-clueless-privileged-white-girl with the requisite latent Angloboner to match.)
I've written about Calvin Harris before, usually pretty kindly ("there’s something very terrestrial and warm-blooded about his big hits," I apparently wrote once). In my mind, we are on good terms — I've never met him, but if I ever did, I would smile and say, "Hey, keep up the good work," and I'm sure he'd say the same to me. I wouldn't even give him a hard time about the story behind his stage name, even though I'd be silently judging him for it during our conversation. So imagine my absolute shock and dismay when I manually typed in www.twitter.com/CalvinHarris, pressed return, and saw this:
Questions for discussion:
- Why is Calvin Harris blocking me on Twitter?
- Is Calvin Harris blocking anyone else on Twitter?
- Have I said anything bad about Calvin Harris on Twitter?
- How can I get Calvin Harris to unblock me on Twitter?
- How can I get Calvin Harris to follow me on Twitter?
- How can I get Taylor Swift and Calvin Harris to follow me on Twitter?
We did everything right, now I'm on the outside...
UPDATED, 5:35 PM ET