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Luigi will always be a second place, runner-up, wannabe Mario

Luigi will always be a second place, runner-up, wannabe Mario

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A few years ago, it seemed Luigi — brother of Mario, hunter of ghosts, possessor of no surname — would finally assert himself as something more than a milquetoast other guy. In 2013, Luigi's fans linked arms to celebrate the secondary figure in the Year of Luigi, and the back-up plumber landed his own console game. Passion from those 12 months seeped into 2014, in which Luigi's shady side-eye in Mario Kart 8 revealed him to be more than the pushover we'd always assumed him to be.

2015 has been Luigi's year to prove himself as more than a fan fad, and he has failed. There have been no Luigi releases. Luigi's amiibos have not been the subject of great pining. In September, we will witness the release of Super Mario Maker. Luigi's name is not on the title, because people don't care about Luigi. We just pretended. It was a long con. And now we're all laughing at you, Luigi, the man who believed our love was real.

How many times has Luigi saved the day?

How many games does Luigi have compared to Mario?

When I Google Mario, I get this:


When I Google Luigi, I get this:


Our love was a goof, a laugh, a prank. Luigi is a second place, silver medal, runner-up. This video from CorridorDigital might look like a cute love missive to the green-suited fellow, but it's not. It's evidence of Luigi's inadequacies as a plumber, a skateboarder, and a pop icon.

And that's okay. That makes him more relatable — not like that stuck-up Mario.

Luigi will never be Mario. And Mario will never be K.K. Slider, because we can all agree both of these guys are bums compared to a dog that plays acoustic guitar.

E3 2015: Introducing Super Mario Maker