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Taco Bell wants us to create custom burritos; mine has 3,540 calories and 203 grams of fat

My burrito could comfortably feed a family of three for a full day

Social media savvy food retailer Taco Bell has announced its latest tech strategy, launching the domain, along with a suite of web tools that allow users to both construct the taco-inspired meal of their dreams, then calculate the nutritional value of said dish. The site is a blessing for people who prefer fast food without having to speak with another human, and also people who like to push against the very fabric of reality.

Being the latter more than the former, I spent my morning imagining the least healthy thing someone could theoretically order from Taco Bell. Now, at the moment, online orders aren't working — apparently there's too high of demand — so I can't see if my local TB will actually make my fantasy a reality. Frankly, I am unconvinced my request can be contained within a single burrito. I hope that today or someday soon, I will have the chance to find out.

My burrito could comfortably feed a family of three for a full day

The normal XXL Grilled Stuft [sic] Burrito has 860 calories and 41 grams of fat. That's a bit over half my daily allowance of calories and fat. My custom version of the XXL Grilled Stuft [sic] Burrito contains 3,540 calories, 203 grams of fat, 460 milligrams of cholesterol, 11,000 mg of sodium, 32 grams of sugar, 258 grams of carbohydrates, and 168 grams of protein, a daily serving of Vitamin A, C, iron, and calcium. This single burrito has enough calories and fat to comfortably feed a family of three for a full day.

For the morbidly curious, here's the full list of ingredients:

INGREDIENTS: XXL Grilled Stuft Burrito (Black Beans: Black beans, water, onion, canola oil, seasoning (water, dextrose, salt, natural flavor, corn starch, corn oil, onion powder, garlic powder, turmeric), modified corn starch, salt, chili powder, garlic, onion., Flour Tortilla: Enriched wheat flour, water, vegetable shortening (soybean, hydrogenated soybean and/or cottonseed oil), sugar, salt, leavening (baking soda, sodium acid pyrophophate), molasses, dough conditioner (fumaric acid, distilled monoglycerides, enzymes, wheat starch, calcium carbonate), calcium propionate, sorbic acid, and/or potassium sorbate (P). Contains: Wheat, Cheddar Cheese: Cheddar cheese (cultured pasteurized milk, salt, enzymes, annatto (VC)), anti-caking agent. Contains: Milk, Premium Latin Rice: Enriched long grain rice, seasoning (salt, natural flavor, sugar, maltodextrin, dried parsley, onion powder, garlic powder, dried cilantro, disodium inosinate & guanylate)., Seasoned Beef: Beef, water, seasoning [cellulose, chili pepper, onion powder, salt, oats (contains wheat), maltodextrin, soy lecithin, tomato powder, sugar, soybean oil, spices, garlic powder, citric acid, caramel color (C), disodium inosinate & guanylate, cocoa powder, natural and artificial flavors (contains gluten), trehalose, modified corn starch, lactic acid, torula yeast], salt, phosphates. Contains: Soy, Wheat, USDA Select Marinated Grilled Steak: USDA select beef, water, seasoning (modified potato starch, salt, chili pepper, garlic, black pepper, carrageenan), sodium phosphates. Marinade sauce: Water, seasoning (salt, natural flavor, caramel color (C), maltodextrin, garlic powder, citric acid, safflower oil, sugar, torula yeast)., Shredded Chicken: Chicken breast, water, seasoning (salt, natural flavor, tomato powder, modified potato starch, garlic powder, dextrose, paprika (VC), onion powder, spices, maltodextrin, citric acid, safflower oil, disodium inosinate & guanylate, vinegar, sugar, soy lecithin), canola oil, rosemary extract (P). Contains: Soy, Fire Grilled Chicken: Chicken, water, seasoning (maltodextrin, dried garlic, salt, spices, natural flavor, carrageenan, dried onion, disodium inosinate & guanylate, citric acid, caramel color (C), garlic powder, onion powder), modified food starch, sodium phosphates, salt., Salsa: Crushed tomatoes (with juice), tomato puree, jalapeno peppers, garlic, onion, cilantro, salt, spices, citric acid., Creamy Chipotle Sauce: Soybean oil, water, egg yolk, vinegar, sour cream, chipotle peppers, contains 1% or less of chili peppers, garlic, onion powder, garlic powder, spice, sugar, salt, natural flavors (including smoke flavor), xanthan gum, canola and sesame oil, propylene glycol alginate, calcium disodium EDTA (PF), potassium sorbate and sodium benzoate (P). Contains: Egg, Milk, Bacon: Bacon cured with water, salt, sugar, sodium phosphates, sodium erythorbate, flavor (including smoke flavor), sodum nitrite (P)., Red Strips: Ground corn masa, canola oil, carmine & yellow 6 (C)., Red Sauce: Water, seasoning (modified cornstarch, maltodextrin, paprika (VC), salt, tomato powder, onion powder, spices, garlic powder, natural flavors (contains gluten), xanthan gum, malic acid, caramel color (C), ascorbic acid, citric acid, trehalose)., Nacho Cheese Sauce: Nonfat milk, cheese whey, water, vegetable oil (canola and soybean oil), food starch, maltodextrin, natural flavors, sea salt, contains 1% or less of jalapeno puree, vinegar, lactic acid, potassium citrate, potassium phosphate, sodium stearoyl lactylate, citric acid, cellulose gum, annatto (VC), yellow 6 (C). Contains: Milk, Fritos® Chips: Visit to get more information this item, Reduced-Fat Sour Cream: Milk, cream, modified corn starch, contains less than 1% of modified tapicoa starch, maltodextrin, gelatin, lactic acid, sodium phosphate, citric acid, potassium sorbate (P), natural and artificial flavor, mono and diglycerides, locust bean gum, carrageenan, vitamin A. Contains: Milk, Premium Guacamole: Avocado, water, tomato, onion, jalapeno, salt, cilantro, lemon juice, ascorbic or erythorbic acid, xanthan gum, sodium alginate., Pico de Gallo: Tomatoes, onion, cilantro, water, vinegar, lemon juice concentrate, salt, xanthan gum., Three Cheese Blend: Part skim mozzerella cheese, cheddar cheese, Monterey pepper jack cheeese (cultured pasteurized milk, salt, enzymes, water, cream, sodium citrate, jalapeno peppers, salt, sodium phosphate, lactic acid, sorbic Acid (P)), anti-caking agent. Contains: Milk, Refried Beans: Pinto beans, soybean oil, seasoning (salt, sugar, spice, beet powder (VC), natural flavors, sunflower oil, maltodextrin, corn flour, trehalose, modified cornstarch)., Iceberg Lettuce: Fresh iceberg lettuce, Mexican Pizza Sauce: Water, diced tomatoes, diced green chilies, modified food starch, onions, sugar, tomato paste, spices, salt, maltodextrin, paprika (VC), garlic powder, xanthan gum, onion powder, disodium inosinate & guanylate, natural flavors, trehalose, citric acid., Jalapeños: Jalapeño peppers, vinegar, water, salt, calcium chloride, Potato Bites: Potatoes, soybean oil, enriched wheat flour, tapioca starch, salt, rice flour, dextrin, spices, baking powder, onion powder, garlic powder, natural flavor, modified food starch, guar gum, paprika and turmeric (VC), dextrose. Prepared in canola oil. Contains: Wheat, Creamy Jalapeno Sauce: Soybean oil, water, vinegar, jalapeno peppers, buttermilk, egg yolk, dextrose, chili pepper, contains 1% or less of spices, onion powder, garlic powder, minced onion, cocoa powder, paprika (VC), sugar, salt, natural flavor, modified food starch, xanthan gum, propylene glycol alginate, lactic acid, disodium inosinate & guanylate, citric acid, sorbic acid, glucono delta-lactone, potassium sorbate and sodium benzoate (P), calcium disodium EDTA (PF). Contains: Eggs, Milk., Lava Sauce (Limited Time): Soybean oil, water, red jalapeno peppers, cheddar cheese, egg yolk, natural and artificial flavors, tomato paste, vinegar, paprika, sugar, contains 1% or less of dried onion, spices, salt, xanthan gum, phosphoric acid, citric acid, disodium inosinate & guanylate, sorbic acid, propylene glycol alginate, calcium disodium EDTA (PF). Contains: Milk, Eggs, Spicy Ranch Sauce: Soybean oil, buttermilk, water, vinegar, sour cream, egg yolk, sugar, salt contains 1% or less of spices, garlic, onion & habanero pepper powders, natural flavors, xanthan gum, lactic acid, propylene glycol alginate, glucono delta lactone, potassium sorbate & sodium benzoate (P), calcium disodium EDTA (PF). Contains: Eggs, Milk, Green Chile Sauce (regional): Water, green chilies, jalapeno peppers, modified food starch, vinegar, salt, onion, xanthan gum, citric acid, spices, dextrose, natural flavors (contains soy), caramel color (C). Contains: Soy, Green Tomatillo Sauce (regional): Water, tomatillos, green chili peppers, jalapeno, corn syrup, salt, onion powder, modified cornstarch, onion, citric acid, maltodextrin, garlic powder, xanthan gum, soy sauce (contains soy and wheat), artificial and natural flavor. Contains: Wheat, Soy, Salsa Del Sol: Water, diced tomatoes (including juice), tomato paste, vinegar, salt, onion, jalapeno pepper, garlic, citric acid, xanthan gum, potassium sorbate and sodium benzoate (P)., Avocado Ranch Sauce: Soybean oil, buttermilk, water, avocado, vinegar, enzyme modified egg yolk, garlic juice, sugar, salt, garlic powder, onion powder, spices, natural flavor, lactic acid, lemon and lime juice concentrate, disodium inosinate, potassium sorbate and sodium benzoate (P), propylene glycol alginate, xanthan gum, calcium disodium EDTA (PF), blue 1 (C). Contains: Milk, Eggs, Onions: Fresh onions., Border Sauce - Fire: Tomato puree (tomato paste, water), jalapeno peppers, vinegar, modified food starch, chili powder, minced onion, onion juice, spices, natural flavors (contains wheat and soy), xanthan gum, salt, potassium sorbate and sodium benzoate (P), garlic powder, paprika (VC). Contains: Wheat, Soy, Border Sauce - Hot: Tomato puree (water, tomato paste), jalapeno, vinegar, food starch or xanthan gum, salt, chili spices, minced onion, sugar, natural flavors, maltodextrin, potassium sorbate and sodium benzoate (P), garlic concentrate (contains soy). Contains: Soy, Border Sauce - Mild: Tomato puree (tomato paste, water), vinegar, food starch or xanthan gum, salt, chili spices, sugar, natural flavors, potassium sorbate and sodium benzoate (P), maltodextrin, garlic concentrate (contains soy). Contains: Soy, Border Sauce - Salsa Verde: Water, green chili peppers, tomatillos, corn syrup, vinegar, corn starch, salt, dried bell pepper, onion, spices, sodium benzoate & potassium sorbate (P), natural flavor, lime juice concentrate, garlic extract (contains soy). Contains: Soy, Diablo Sauce: Tomato puree (water, tomato paste), seasoning (modified tapioca starch, salt, spices, sugar, maltodextrin, garlic powder, onion powder, natural flavors, xanthan gum, disodium inosinate and guanylate, paprika extracts), vinegar, sodium acid sulfate, potassium sorbate and sodium benzoate (P).)